Empty As the Sky
by El Corazon Sangriento
Summary: What if Pocahontas had not arrived in time to stop John Smith's execution? Told from the POV of the princess herself, many years later.


**A/n: My first completed fanfic ever! I've been reading and reviewing these things for years, and I never was able to write one when I actually tried to. However, this little piece came to me a couple days ago when I was listening to "If I Never Knew You" from Pocahontas (not the cheesy 90's pop ballad that they put on the original soundtrack, the actual movie version with Mel Gibson and Judy Kuhn). It's pretty much my favorite love song of all time....and so heartbreaking. So, I thought, "What if Pocahontas hadn't taken the chance and stopped her father from killing John Smith?" And out came this A/U fic, which I'll admit I'm pretty proud of. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pocahontas, John Smith, or any of the other characters mentioned in this story, Disney does. If I did, well....I would probably revert back to my childhood haha. **

**Empty As The Sky**

"_I'd rather die today, than live a hundred years without knowing you."_

And so he had. John Smith, gone forever at the hands of my father. And it was all my fault.

The war that had followed was as pointless and terrible as the killings that had set it in motion. Kocoum, dead. And soon after, my father, Powhatan, shot down by a rifle in the heat of battle.

So much anger. Anger that I could have stopped, if I had only made them listen.

My old bones creaked as I treaded the familiar path down to the river. It used to be that I had to slip away in the dark of night to see her; however, over the years the tribe began to accept their queen as abnormal, if loved, and now I only kept the nighttime practice as a matter of habit.

The way was the same as it ever was, yet it took me much longer than it had as a young, free-spirited girl. My joints were aching, my steps feeble; I knew that this would be the last night I made this journey. Finally, when the moon was high in the cold sky, I was there.

"Pocahontas."

"Grandmother Willow."

The old tree spirit smiled warmly. "It has been a long time since your last visit, child."

"Yes," I admitted shamefully. "I have not been well."

She eyed me knowingly. "You still are sick."

I nodded. "I needed to see you...Grandmother Willow, I am lost."

"What do you mean, child?"

"I am so old, and yet I have done nothing of importance in my life. Nothing that can erase my mistakes." I fingered my mother's necklace, which had been broken and repaired by my animal friends long ago. The hard memories attached to it made me ashamed, but I still wore it every day, to honor her memory.

"Nothing? Ridiculous!" Grandmother Willow waved her sweeping branches indignantly. "Child, you are the beloved leader of your people! You have ended a war and kept peace within your tribe with no help and no husband to do the work! Your mother would be proud."

"No," I whispered. "It's not enough."

The old tree's expression softened. "Pocahontas, being accepting of others is not a crime. John Smith did not blame you for his death, and neither should you."

I sighed, a miniscule tear spilling out of the corner of my eye.

"Pocahontas, close your eyes." I looked up at Grandmother Willow's caring features and obeyed. "Do you remember what I told you all those years ago?"

"You told me....to listen with my heart."

"Yes. Now, what do you hear?"

I breathed deeply, listening hard to the wind that swirled around me, to the rustling branches. Then, I heard it: that whisper of hope from deep within and around me at the same time.

"It's telling me to...to let go." I opened my eyes, and all of the freed tears rolled down my wrinkled cheeks. "To forgive myself."

"You must do it, Pocahontas," Grandmother advised. "Only then can you be free."

I nodded. "I will. I...I forgive myself. For everything bad that happened; I forgive myself." A huge weight was lifted from my heart, and I smiled in relief. Suddenly, I was bone tired. "I feel so much better."

"I knew you would."

My eyelids started to close. My bones ached even more than before. "Grandmother Willow, I am so tired."

"I know, child. You are not so young anymore."

"I think I'll rest for a moment before going back." Carefully, I lowered my sore body to the cool ground. My eyes closed; I no longer had the strength to fight sleep.

"Yes, child," Grandmother whispered, her voice increasingly fuzzy in my ears. "Good night, and good bye."

From the darkness, a pinpoint of golden light appeared. It smelled of summer, and flowers, and the clear river waters. It grew and grew until it engulfed me in its blinding beauty. From the light, emerged a hand, and with the hand, a face. A face that I had not seen in so many years, but was still as enchanting and perfect as ever. I took the hand in disbelief and let him pull me closer, marveling at the sight.

"Who are you?" he asked mischievously. His blue eyes sparkled.

I smiled, and suddenly I knew I was young and whole again. "Pocahontas. My name....is Pocahontas."


End file.
